Friday, October 13, 2006

Reader Mail: The Friday Fruitcakes

Well, it's Friday, which means it's time to look in the old mailbag and see what conservative Nobel Laureate or Fox News devotee tries to give me my comeuppance this week.

And it was a fairly slow week of communication from the Troglodytic Right until Mr. Jeffrey Houseman stepped up to the plate and e-mailed this to me last night.

Jeff writes:
Dear Mr. Geiger,

I checked out your site, as it appeared to have won the best new blog of 05. It's a mystery to me why.

You have plenty of news about page [sic] abuse, like we haven't seen enough of that already.

You think the voting machines are rigged.

You don't cover the latest attacks on free speech on our universities, especially Columbia.

You don't cover Harry Reid's financial shennanagins [sic] in Nevada.

You don't talk about Sandy Berger's being investigated for putting National Archive documents down his pants, taking them home and destroying who knows what.

You only give one side of the news, and we have enough of that already. I like to see both sides, I want to see the whole picture as much as possible.

You are obviously a Democrat first and last. Doing what's best for the country in keeping with the Constitution doesn't seem to mean much to you.

God help us all if Democrats regain control of the country. This is my last visit to your site this year at least. I'm betting that you will fade fast.


To which I reply…

Dear Jeff;

First, I want to commend you for sending an e-mail with very few grammatical and spelling errors -- this is quite rare among the conservatives and right-wingers who put cloven hoof to keyboard to write to me.

That said, your e-mail has some of the usual incoherence I've come to expect from folks like you. I actually haven't written much about Mark Foley because he's really not the issue in all of this. It's far more important to examine the Republican leadership in the House of Representatives engaging in an active cover-up for this GOP pedophile. But I guess that probably doesn't bother you, does it?

I have no idea what free speech issues you're talking about and, as for Harry Reid's "financial shennanagins," well, I don’t want to embarrass you, Jeff, but that silly story got rebuked so quickly it's fallen off the national media's radar screen. Before you log into the Right-Wing Dinosaur Chat Room today to do your latest post, go here to read more and get educated on the subject.

Good grief, Jeff, Fox News has even dropped this story… You've got to bring more than that to the attack party, man.

But, since you appear to be quite a concerned patriot, I'm wondering how you feel about these issues brought to us by your very own Republican party:
  • The aforementioned cover-up for Foley by House Republicans
  • Bush lying the country into war with people who did not attack us
  • Taking a nation -- us, Jeff! -- that the world embraced after 9/11 and making us the most despised people on the planet
  • Ignoring North Korea
  • Trashing the very Constitution they swore to uphold
  • Failing to catch Osama bin Laden
  • Turning the biggest budget surplus in U.S. history into the biggest deficit
  • Having the worst record of job creation in the last 40 years
  • Watching four million more Americans lose health-care
  • Presiding over the minimum wage hitting its lowest buying power in 55 years
  • Gutting FEMA and the resulting meltdown during hurricane Katrina
That's just off the top of my head…

And look at the news today, Jeff: Yet another Republican -- Bob Ney -- goes down for the utter corruption the typifies GOP rule.

Is any of that upsetting or newsworthy for you, Jeff?

Oh, and I can't tell you how upsetting it is to me that you won’t be stopping by my site any longer. This is a real emotional gut-check for me but, what the hell, I'm going to see if I can not "fade fast" and keep going without your support.

One more thing: If you're going to trash someone in an e-mail, don't sign it "Best, Jeff." It makes you look dorky and insincere.

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Tune in next time for another edition of the Friday Fruitcakes. And, for you hateful, self-loathing Republicans – keep those cards, letters and e-mails coming.