Liberal White Blogger Missing

Turn off the phones, put the kids to bed early and fire up the VCR.

Larry King Live will provide exclusive coverage of the disappearance of Natalee Holloway tonight. Finally, someone in television with the nerve to tackle the tough and under-reported stories.

Thank you, Larry, and thank you CNN.

Larry may have a busy week because I hear Olivia Newton-John's boyfriend, Patrick Kim McDermott, is also missing.


And let the missing-white-person-palooza go on because it looks like a Grammy award-winning producer is missing in California. Christian Julian Irwin, 48, was last seen near the 500 block of Topanga Canyon Boulevard in Los Angeles and authorities said the case has signs of foul play

Hey, can you keep a secret? (Just between a few thousand of us.)

I've decided that this blog thing just isn't working out as a way for me to achieve notoriety. And, since I'm a white guy with a pretty wife and a cute little boy, I've decided to disappear.

Now, of course, I won't really be gone – I may even live-blog my disappearance. I planned to go home to Nebraska where, as a Democrat, nobody will even notice me. By the time I "resurface" alive and well, I'll be famous, I'll dominate the airwaves and the Yellow Dog Blog will have millions of readers.

Hey, I'm just giving the public what they want -- and I'd like to meet Larry King.