Friday, December 16, 2005

Reader Mail: The Friday Fruitcakes

It's time to take our regular look at the Yellow Dog Blog mailbag and see what's crawled out from under the right-wing rocks this week...

In an e-mail poetically titled "What is your point besides the one on your head," Mr. Greg Kipp writes...
Hello Bob,

I was forwarded you [sic] email of anti-Bush remarks, I have an answer to all of your questions that make leftist spoonfed [sic] liberals cry in thier [sic] sleep.

First off the Democrats while in power under wild bill [sic] were all going around giving the WMD'S in Iraq speeches way before President Bush was in office, These pro-war Democrats quickly changed their tune when a hint of tough time was being reported from a media with a preformed agenda, THIS IS ALL IN EVIDENCE IN MY ATTACHMENT. Please be warned this video has made misguided liberals stop breathing and has even caused the DNC to issue a memmo [sic] to all of their mouth pieces to stop the Bush lied remarks as this clip shows who actually lied.
Note: There was no attachment to Greg's e-mail. I suspect he was groggy from all the thorazine and simply forgot to include it. Greg's analysis also explains the news reports I've been seeing about liberals all over America spontaneously dying of asphyxiation – so that's what caused it.

Greg continues...
The leftist argument that we had no reason to invade Iraq make the democrats look [STUCK ON STUPID] how easily they forget the UN 14 Resolutions to allow weopens [sic] inspectors in the country to look for the WMD'S that the dems first claimed were there and The FRENCH Still [sic] do. How easily they pushed under the carpet the thousands of chemical artilery [sic] rounds we found, how easily they cheer as another American soldier dies (READ YAHOO for verification)

All of the accusations and finger pointing from the liberals kind of reminds me of my brother when he was three years old ran to tell on me and my other brother for every discression [sic] because he thought it earned him praise from the parents, But could not understand the rebukes of being told to mind his own business and stop being a tattle tale.
I cut Greg's e-mail off here because he just goes on and on and on....

Greg, it must be rough to be in the minority of American thought about this war but, please, don't write e-mails to bloggers while you're drinking or on your medication. It makes for a lot of errors, is very hard to read and makes you look like just another dumb Republican. And we don't want that, do we?

Second, a period (.) is the little dot-like thingy that goes at the part of the sentence where you want to stop. A comma (,) denotes a slight pause or separation of clauses. I double-checked this with my eight-year-old son as they're learning that in third grade. Keep practicing. You'll be writing like a grown-up person in no time.

Finally – and I'm loathe to be so stern with you in public – you may not write to me again until you have at least finished elementary school. I look forward to hearing from you then.

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Another reader, "August," writes:

I'm just curious if you could tell me what political party currently has control of the White House and conversely which party does not.

After that you can continue to run your site.

Dear August,

No matter how he got there, the person living in the White House now is George W. Bush and he is a member of the Republican party. The Democratic party does not currently have a president in power.

I'm happy to clarify that and will now go back to running my site.

You don't know Greg Kipp, do you?

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Tune in next week for another edition of the Friday Fruitcakes. And, for you hateful, self-loathing Republicans – keep those cards, letter and e-mails coming.