U.S. Confirms Guantanamo Bay Koran Abuse

Pentagon investigators have confirmed that soldiers at Guantanamo Bay deliberately abused the Korans of prison detainees.

In details released tonight, investigators said that a soldier once deliberately kicked the Koran and that an interrogator stepped on the Muslim holy book.

The report also confirms that water balloons thrown by prison guards caused an unspecified number of Korans to get wet and that a guard's urine came through an air vent – what??? -- and splashed on a detainee and his Koran. In another case, a two-word obscenity was found scrawled in English on the inside cover of a prisoner's Koran.

In what has become routine whenever the Bush administration has to admit wrongdoing, the facts were released late in the day today in the hope that the story would go unreported over the weekend and be forgotten by Monday.

I can hear Rumsfeld already: "Yeah, but we didn't throw a Koran in the toilet!"