Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Time For Separation of Church And Food

While I'm not a religious guy, I respect people of faith and their inherent right to worship as they see fit. But I have three words when it comes to this obsession with seeing religious figures in common food items: Stop it already.

This is exactly why our forefathers wanted to limit religious influence.

Earlier this year, my tiny hometown of St. Paul, Nebraska was all atwitter over a 12-year-old girl's discovery of a Rold Gold, honey-mustard-flavored pretzel that everyone claimed looked like the Virgin Mary holding the baby Jesus.

OK, not bad. And, while I admit that my rabid interest in politics began when I spied the face of Hubert Humphrey in a bowl of oatmeal at age ten, I hardly think this snack-food is worth bowing and scraping over. Toss that pretzel on the bar at the County Cage Saloon and it's being washed down with some cold Bud Light in about 10 seconds.

Just last week, some Florida restaurant workers went nuts over a nacho-cheese pan that they swore sported the spitting image of Jesus – even though I'm sure half the world looked at it and saw Osama bin Laden's visage.
See what I mean?

"Here I am, George"

Now, we have the "Nun Bun," a cinnamon pastry that some thought looked a lot like the late Mother Teresa and was recently stolen from its home in a Nashville coffee shop, where it has been worshipped for years.

I'm sorry but, for my money, I look at this and see Yogi Berra.

And, while I'm no theologian, I'm pretty sure that none of this enhances the role of religion in our society. Frankly, it just makes me hungry. Of course, the girl in my hometown ended up selling her Virgin-Mary pretzel for over $10,000 to an online casino.

Anyone interested in purchasing the image of a naked Britney Spears that my little boy just found in his Eggo Waffle?