Fox News Sponsoring Democratic Debate; Fur Council and PETA Merge

When I came back from my two-week vacation on Friday -- the one where I promised my wife and son I would unplug from the news entirely -- and found out that right-wing media outlet Fox News will be hosting a Democratic presidential debate later this year, I felt a bit like Dr. Emmett Brown in Back To The Future when he heard who would be president in 1985 and exclaimed "Ronald Reagan! The actor?"

And, as much as I was sure I was hearing something that was fabricated on, well, Fox News, I have since found out that it's true that the Nevada Democratic Party will indeed allow the network that loves to hate on Democrats to broadcast the state's August Democratic presidential debate.

What are you going to tell me next? That Britney Spears shaved her head while I was gone?

This is the same Fox News that partnered with the Swift Boat Liars in 2004 and did everything they could to destroy John Kerry's presidential bid and that, so far in the fledgling 2008 campaign, have lied about Barack Obama's religious upbringing, made fun of his name and said that he's only a viable candidate because he's black.

Fox management even sends news directives to their "journalists," such as the internal memos instructing them to taint the news by avoiding the 9/11 Commission recommendations, the Abu Ghraib scandal and the entire Iraq war. Almost all of their "news analysis" is provided by Republican politicians and operatives and, although thinking Americans don’t really consider Fox a legitimate news source, the pseudo-network takes even the smallest, most insidious, attempts at smearing Democrats, such as mislabeling Republican pedophile Mark Foley as a Democrat multiple times during their reports on that scandal.

I don't even want to think about what their little scrollbar will be saying at the bottom of the screen during the Democratic debate. "Jeffrey Dahmer was a Democrat," anyone?

But I was so surprised that I had missed something this bizarre while on vacation that I spent some time over the weekend seeing what similar news had surfaced while I was incommunicado. Here's what I found:

• General Motors' Hummer division will team with former Vice President Al Gore to sponsor a conference on energy independence and global warming.

• People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and the Fur Information Council of America will co-host a spring fling barbecue in May and will illustrate their new spirit of compromise by discouraging fur clothing at the event, but allowing a piñata made to look like a baby harp seal.

• The National Rifle Association (NRA) will merge with the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence and unveil the new motto "Guns don’t kill people -- well, OK, maybe they do."

• A revival of the blockbuster musical "Cats" will open on Broadway and will be sponsored by the American Kennel Club.

• Tony Perkins' Family Research Council will partner with the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus to produce a holiday musical titled "Not That There's Anything Wrong With That."

• In a bold pairing, Nazi Skinheads will join with the Jewish Defense League to hold the 2007 Passover Latke Feed in Brooklyn

• The National Restaurant Association will reverse its longstanding fight against any minimum wage increases by announcing their support for a one-dollar-per-hour yearly wage increase through 2030.

• Debuting on the posh Style Television Network: "Pimp My Double-Wide Trailer"

• Tom DeLay, Bob Ney and Duke Cunningham will take over "The Ethicist" column in the Sunday New York Times magazine.

As strange as all of that is, it's this bizarro-world thing about Fox News being allowed to broadcast anything bigger than a Democratic softball game that's really thrown me for a loop.

I only hope the good people at the Nevada Democratic Party will come to their senses far sooner than later. Because, by the time, Fox begins promoting this debate as "The Battle of The Democratic Bin Laden Lovers" it's going to be way too late.