Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Bush Yucks it Up as Death Number 2,000 is Announced

It must be nice to be George W. Bush and have so little conscience and soul that even the saddest news doesn’t penetrate the euphoria of your dunce-like haze.

Yesterday, as we were learning that our nation has suffered military death number 2,000 in Bush’s Iraq quagmire, there was the president doing a Henny Youngman routine for the Joint Armed Forces Officers' Wives' Luncheon.

“This is the 28th anniversary of this luncheon. (Applause.) Laura and I happen to have our 28th anniversary of our own coming up Saturday,” said the president. “You helped me remember. (Laughter.) It's the best decision I ever made, was marrying Laura in Midland, Texas. (Applause.) Some question whether or not it was the best decision she ever made.” (Laughter.)

“Speaking about decisions, I've got another decision to make, and maybe after the lunch you can help me, and that is what do I get her on the 28th anniversary? (Laughter.) Never mind. (Laughter.) Never mind. (Laughter.) Sorry I asked. (Laughter.)”

Court-jester Bush then launched right into the propaganda, implying for the trillionth time that the war in Iraq has something to do with the attacks of 9/11.

“On the morning of September the 11th, 2001, we saw the destruction that terrorists intend for our nation. We know that they want to strike again. And our nation has made a clear choice: We will confront this mortal danger to all humanity. We will not rest or tire until the war on terror is won.“

However, to his credit, President Bush did take a moment to address his own administration, saying “Evil men, obsessed with ambition and unburdened by conscience, must be taken very seriously -- and we must stop them before their crimes can multiply.”

Oh, wait, he was talking about the insurgents in Iraq – sorry.

Finally, Bush wraps up with this stirring statement:

“Throughout history, tyrants and would-be tyrants have always claimed that murder is justified to serve their grand vision -- and they end up alienating decent people across the globe.”

We agree, Mr. President. Please resign.