Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The Onion: Bush Nominates Fetus To Supreme Court

Bush Announces Fetal Supreme Court Pick

In the midst of all there is for we liberals to be pissed off about these days, even we need to find a way to laugh once in a while -- and few prompt that better than The Onion.

Check out this piece titled "Bush Nominates First-Trimester Fetus To Supreme Court. " Here's part of it:

If confirmed by Congress, the bean-sized vertebrate would be the nation's first prenatal Supreme Court justice.

The unnamed fetus, who made headlines only three weeks ago when he or she was appointed to the Virginia State Supreme Court after working at a private law practice for five hours, has enjoyed a meteoric career in American jurisprudence. A remarkable prodigy who graduated from Georgetown Law School mere days after his or her neural folds fused, the nominee reportedly shares much of the conservative, pro-business philosophy of the Bush White House.

Nevertheless, Capitol Hill sources say that his or her nomination comes as a surprise. Legal observers had anticipated that Bush would name a prominent conservative like Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, or the second-trimester female fetus that heads the legal department of Molson Coors Brewing Company, or former Solicitor General Theodore Olson.

"The fetus's judicial record, though extremely limited, is quite impressive," said Carolyn Scuitto, a professor of constitutional law at Yale University. "Last week, it authored a majority opinion overturning an appellate court ruling that found that a Virginia-based insurance company had insufficiently disclosed rate increases to its customers."

Scuitto added: "Bear in mind that the judge has fingerless stubs for arms and still sports traces of a tail."
The rest is here. C'mon, you know you need a laugh.