Wednesday, March 23, 2005

God: "Mr. DeLay, Ms. Schiavo."

House of Representatives Majority Leader Tom DeLay today told a conservative Christian group that "One thing God has brought us is Terri Schiavo..." DeLay made the comments in a speech to the Family Research Council in which he accused Democrats and liberals of driving hard to undermine the conservative movement.

No kidding, Tommy Boy.

Our secret is out: We're trying to derail a group of far-right, ethically-bankrupt chickenhawks who lead our country into a pointless war, have destroyed our image in the world and are taking us – and our children and their children – straight to the poor house.

You sure nailed us on that one. Good call.

But let's be serious, Tom. I'm sure you've never even met Ms. Schiavo and I'll bet that deep down you don't give a rat's behind about her.

However, you could be partially right to the extent that when you hit your knees tonight you should thank God that the media is so consumed with the Schiavo story. It keeps them from focusing on the Iraq war, the painful budget cuts your tax breaks for the rich will cause and, most importantly to you, the media seems to have no time to go after your latest ethical difficulties.

We all know you were slapped last year by the House ethics committee for three separate matters and that you are once again under scrutiny about foreign trips funded by outside groups.

Three of your Texas buddies have already been indicted for illegal fund raising and you may very well be next.

Nobody is paying any attention to that stuff right now. And that is the real reason you're so grateful for Terri Schiavo.